LOS ANGELES, CA – Valentine’s Day is on the horizon, and the boyfriends that have remembered are in a frenzy to make a plan. This year the pressure is at an all time high due to the fact that lockdown restrictions have given guys limited options for the big date night.
Local boyfriend named Daniel explains why he’s worried stating, “Now that we can’t leave the house, It’s just me, her and her 11-speed vibrator. It’s frustrating, because most years I could take my girl out for a nice meal, liquor her up and by the time we get home we’re too tired to even think about her toys”.
Another local man named Luke had this to say, “It’s man vs. machine. How can I even compete? It’s so unrealistic that women these days expect my 6-inch meat to perform like a Decepticon.” That being said the one thing that every guy has in common, is they’re grateful for the opportunity.
TORONTO, ON – A local former female named Destiny has recently come out a “Rubber Duck”. Destiny is currently undergoing transition, which includes lip injections, ass injections, and the ultimate goal of achieving a 50% body to plastic ratio.
Destiny defended her decision in the following statement; “I always knew that I was a rubber duck deep down. Since I got my first cell phone, I have been puckering my lips every time that I use the face camera. I realized I also pucker my lips in the mirror, and every time I see my own face. I have always felt like a lone little rubber duck, floating aimlessly in the bathtub of life.”
Destiny hopes to inspire other ducklings who want to come out saying, “To all my ladies who want to start the transition, please use my discount code ‘Ducky’ and receive your first lip injection and body painting free of charge!”
