GOTHAM, US – This week, to no-one’s surprise Batman’s infamous bottom bitch comes out as bisexual. If the fluorescent colored tights, and obsession with a rich daddy dressed as a bat wasn’t obvious enough, this weeks announcement officially confirms it. Robin is the cuck twink that we all thought.
In response to this news, The Joker has officially come out as homophobic. He is quoted saying, “Batman and batty boy the two gayest heroes in Gotham. I could always tell they had something for each other, by the way they look into each others eyes. To be honest Robin has made sexual advances on myself, but Batman is always too jealous to ever let things escalate.”
The Riddler also added to the Jokers claim saying “Bats eat maggots, and Batman hangs with f******”.
Robin has defended his stance and says he won’t be ashamed for who he is. He also mentioned that his OnlyFans will be dropping later this month.
SAN DIEGO, CA – On Wednesday, a gorilla at the San Diego zoo tested positive for COVID-19. Doctors are baffled as the gorilla has been following quarantine restrictions since birth, and don’t understand how this could happen.
One zoologist suggests, “Maybe our COVID protocols on the primate population aren’t strict enough. My professional opinion would be to make it mandatory for all gorillas to wear masks going forward.”
We asked the local gorilla for comment, and this is what his sign language message translated to, “Free up the homies, we ain’t do nothing.”
President of the San Diego Zoo released a statement earlier today stating, “One of our properties tested positive for COVID-19, to help protect further zoo assets we will be increasing restrictions on our primate captives. It is imperative that we self isolate the primate and restrict them to zero social interaction. This is based on science, and we are doing it to protect the gorillas, as this is in their best interest.”
