OP-ED: WHY PROSTATE CHECKS SHOULD BE MANDATORY AT ALL AIRPORTS

TORONTO, ON – World renown Chinese scientists have discovered that “anal swab testing” for Covid-19 is far more accurate than the traditional nasal test. They are moving forward with this form of testing with or without consent, as it is ethically the right thing to do to reduce the spread of Covid-19.

We should follow the science and be pro-active on this new information. I suggest that it may be best that governments around the world make prostate checks mandatory at all airports. Due to the fact that gender should not be assumed, we should inspect every traveller’s anal cavity just to be safe.

We asked traveller’s at Toronto’s Pearson Airport what they would think about mandatory prostate checks at the airport, and the responses varied. One man named Dave loved the idea saying, “I’m all for it! Usually, I have to pay $200/hour for a service like this”.